


the happy one

by danhowellsjeans



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Suicidal Phil, Suicide, TRIGGER WARNING!!, self-harm mentions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-22
Updated: 2016-04-21
Packaged: 2018-06-03 17:10:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6619192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danhowellsjeans/pseuds/danhowellsjeans
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil is tired.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. ending one

Phil stood at the end of the ledge, clenching his fists so hard his palms bled. His mind was screaming at him. Words that used to hurt, but now were welcomed. Silver shining in the soft light of the bathroom, painting masterpieces in red on the floor. It didn't hurt anymore. He wished it did, because he might be able to keep going, because at least there would be _something._ He was scared of death, scared to not exist anymore, but at the same time wished for it every day. 

Maybe that's why he had thrown down the camera. 

Maybe that's why he had yelled at Dan. 

He was supposed to be the happy one, so why was he looking down at the ground from his roof? Why was it so inviting? He shuffled forwards a bit, but stopped when he heard the screaming, louder than the rest. It wasn't in his head, he realized. He turned slightly, seeing his roommate running towards him, tears streaming down his pale face. His screams were shaky, incoherent, and they sent a chill up Phil's spine. The familiar need to comfort his best friend washed over him and he reached out a quivering hand before pulling it back. Something that resembled despair flickered in Dan's eyes before he spoke. "Phil...please come downstairs. I...I don't want to lose you." His voice cracked. "Why would you do this? I thought...I thought you were happy." Phil scoffed. "I haven't been happy for years, Dan. You of all people should have noticed that." Dan stiffened for a moment. "You should have told me. I could have helped..." Phil shook his head. "There's no way you could help me. Nothing you could do could stop me." Dan took a shaky breath. "Phil, I can't tell you how much you mean to me. I...I couldn't live without you." He stepped closer. "So...If you're going to jump, so am I." The statement hung in the air for a few moments before Phil stepped off the ledge, sinking to his knees. "I can't do it..." He whispered brokenly. Dan held out his hand for Phil to take. "Come back downstairs. It's time for dinner, after all." He smiled softly as Phil stood up, allowing himself to be led back into the house. 'Maybe, just maybe, Dan could help me.' He thought with a smile.


	2. ending two

Phil stood at the end of the ledge, clenching his fists so hard his palms bled. His mind was screaming at him. Words that used to hurt, but now were welcomed. Silver shining in the soft light of the bathroom, painting masterpieces in red on the floor. It didn't hurt anymore. He wished it did, because he might be able to keep going, because at least there would be _something._ He was scared of death, scared to not exist anymore, but at the same time wished for it every day.

Maybe that's why he had thrown down the camera.

Maybe that's why he had yelled at Dan.

He was supposed to be the happy one, so why was he looking down at the ground from his roof? Why was it so inviting? He shuffled forwards a bit, but stopped when he heard the screaming, louder than the rest. It wasn't in his head, he realized. He turned slightly, seeing his roommate running towards him, tears streaming down his pale face. His screams were shaky, incoherent, and they sent a chill up Phil's spine. The familiar need to comfort his best friend washed over him and he reached out a quivering hand before pulling it back. Something that resembled despair flickered in Dan's eyes before he spoke. "Phil...please come downstairs. I...I don't want to lose you." His voice cracked. "Why would you do this? I thought...I thought you were happy." Phil scoffed. "I haven't been happy for years, Dan. You of all people should have noticed that." Dan stiffened for a moment. "You should have told me. I could have helped..." Phil shook his head. "There's no way you could help me. Nothing you could do could stop me." Dan didn't speak. He shut his eyes tightly, taking choked breaths. "Phil...you are so _stupid._ Why would you ever, _ever_ think that I couldn't help you? After all those years of you helping me, you really believe that I wouldn't have figured out a way to return the favor if you needed it?" Phil's face was blank, the words being said to him barely registering. "Why would you care? Honestly, I'm just a roadblock for your success." Phil said blandly, turning back to the edge. "Phil, don't do this. Please..." Dan's voice was shaking. Phil sighed, shaking his head. "I'm tired, Dan. Go be successful, live your life. It won't make a difference if I'm here or not." He muttered, closing his eyes and stepping off the edge. Dan let out a soft noise of disbelief, looking over the edge once before running inside.

Moments later, the sound of a gunshot could be heard very faintly over the piercing whine of police sirens.


End file.
